Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Fun With Google

I just recently checked out some keywords people have searched for that have led them to this blog. Some are ridiculous and some are just plain sick, man! For your reading pleasure/sickness:

1) "Richard Dawson" The survey never said Fear Street.

2) "stupid babysitter will learn to knock for next time" Damn.

3) "cute killer cat" So cute you'll just DIE!

4) "sexxxxxxy" They can only be describing one thing...molemolemole.

5) "vincent sucks" I know! What a bastard.

6) "9 year olds kissing" This is disgusting and I hate that somehow my blog is linked to that. The worst part? This isn't the only thing I found about 9 year olds. GROSS!

7) "a woman is sitting in her old shuttered house she knows that she is alone in the whole world every other thing is dead the doorbell rings." THE HORROR!

8) "baby jason voorhees" He was such a cutie. Too bad he became an insatiable killing machine.

9) These next three belong together: "big and stupid" , "big fat purple things", and "big stupid purple thing". Yo mama.

10) "cats at school" Tee hee.

11) "cheerleaders lying down in a circle with their heads together" How awful.

12) "cute cat boys kissing" What the hell?

13) "deena martinson stine" Unholy matrimony.

14) "evil santa claus knocks door let in house" Why would you let him in?! He's obviously not Santa. Otherwise he'd be stuffing his fat rump down the chimney.

15) "grimace the retarded friend" Um. Uh. Yeah...

16) "hoemwork sucks" Hang in there, kid.

17) Someone desperately needs dating advice: "first date ran out of questions" , "first date what if she refuses" , and "flirtatious reply to "glad i can make you laugh" " I know nothing about human relationships. If you, however, are asking about the green people from the planet Hibachi9, I'm full of advice.

18) "i have a cat. his name is bob bob the cat. he's emotionally disturbed and likes milk and chicken best" Bob isn't the only one who is disturbed...

19) "loudest scream ass" I'm speechless.

20) You wouldn't believe the amount of searches involving sex. I don't even wanna go there...some of these are completely SICK.

Well, there you have it. I now need a complete brain wipe to get this shit out of my head.


  1. Number eighteen made me crack up.

    How do you find this out anyway? I'm curious to know for my own blog!

  2. Oh man, I feel you about the sex thing. Let's just say that if you review a book with graphic torture scenes you are going to get some crazy people ending up on your blog D:

  3. Lmao sum of those things were crazy! But when I looked up loudest scream ass, yahoo gave me a bunch of sites featuring the porno Make Her Ass Scream Louder Bitch.....Hilarious! Then I made yahoo feature only loudest scream ass and then a snippet from your blog on Fear Park The Loudest Scream came up and the blog you just did with all the keywords. Lol!
    I'm awaiting your next story update.

  4. LMAO It's disturbing what you can find on the internet...O_O...I love your blog by the way. :)

  5. I love this post. Hilarious!


  6. Sadako, if you go to shinystat.com and put one of their little counter thingies (mine is near the bottom of this blog) on your page, you'll be able to view all the disgusting ways people found your blog.

    HelenB, I can't even think about it.

    Mr. Green, damn. Just...DAMN. And I'm not sure when the next update will be. I haven't gotten very far in "Funhouse". But I'll try to kick my lazy arse in gear and post something soon.

    RavenTiger, it is indeed incredibly disturbing. And thank you.

    Harlem, I thought it was pretty funny, too. Except for the kid stuff. *cringe*

  7. This is more messed-up than I could ever expect. And how the Hell do some of these pertain to the blog?!

  8. Hey have you seen Jennifer's Body? I haven't, but since it's about a possesed cheerleader, i automaticaly thought of Fear Street. Sad.

  9. I never realized how often you talk about cats kissing!

  10. Anon, I haven't seen that one yet. Don't feel bad for thinking of Fear Street...I can't get the shit out of my head no matter how hard I try. *sob*

    Jenn, the amount of cat related crap that popped up was crazy. And all because of that painfully horrid Fear Street book "Cat"

  11. When is your next review "Funhouse" being posted?

  12. Isabelle, I'm going to try to get it posted on Monday or Tuesday.

  13. Poor Bob. Since I'm a glutton for punishment I think I'm going to see what I can find out about my blog. Just in case I'll have a bottle of bleach handy.

  14. I was wondering if you've found a few more Fear Street's to add to your collection.

  15. Some are totally random and wow, the sexual ones are... ew.
    But yo I went to your profile to email you about a book review, can you check your e-mail and reply? thanks!