Best. Cover. Ever.

This is the best cover of any Fear Street book I have ever seen.

That is a vampire carousel horse. How did I never find this before? It's truly a vision of beauty that the Internet clearly does not appreciate because I couldn't find a better photo. Of course the cover with the half naked chick on it is EVERYWHERE.

What the hell does she have that a vampire carousel horse doesn't? (Don't you DARE say boobs, dammit!)

It's been a while since I reviewed this one, but I'm pretty sure I hated it...

WINNER

Thanks to everyone who commented on the earlier post and thanks to everyone who reads this blog. I've had moments where I've considered ending it because I rarely post and that shames me. But when I read comments in which people tell me they enjoy the reviews and that I'm funny (flattery like that deserves a reward...unfortunately I have none. Accept this cyber kiss.) it definitely motivates me. I need to get my lazy bum back into reviewing!!! Fear Street's siren song isn't as strong as it used to be. Shadyside's citizens need to stop cramming pizza down their greasy gullets for five minutes and WAIL for me! Speaking of pizza, if they consume so much grease on a daily basis, why are their lips always so dry? Is this worthy of conversation? Is this really the bleak turn my life has taken? YES.

He's waiting. With bated breath. Inside...a church confessional? His sins are DEEP.

Until next time, friends, adios.

~*5 Fear Years*~

HAPPY 5th ANNIVERSARY, YE FEAR BLOG!

Yes, it's been a whole five years of Fear around here. The first review that went up was The Cheater. 

Remember?! Neither do I. Upon re-reading this review, I think I was trying too hard to be funny. Not that I ever was...or am...or will continue to be. Favorite line from the rambling review: " The place is filled with sneering, greasy punks who are all kicking it under the strobe light." No. Just...no. Also of note was the comparison to the psycho on the cover to an anime character. Anime and tight, scrotum crushing blue jeans go together like peanut butter and tar. 

Anyway, in honor of this "momentous" "event", I'm doing a small giveaway. In the comments section, tell me what your favorite R.L. Stine book is. It doesn't have to be a Fear Street book. It can be anything written by our favorite wordsmith. Winner of a $10 Amazon gift card will be randomly chosen next Wednesday (don't forget to leave your e-mail address with your comment!). In the meantime, party with these drunken, homicidal skeletons like it's 1999.

Sometimes They Come Back...

Dude! Point Horror has returned from the grave! As further proof that I am a nerdy loser, I nearly wet myself when I realized there would be new Point Horror releases in the coming months. In case you have forgotten the majesty that is Point Horror, here are a few of their elderly gems:

Such delicious cheese. And here are a few of the new releases:

Classy new design, but they still kept the cheesy tag lines, only updated for this newfangled Internet generation. My favorite has got to be "Lacey has changed her status to deceased."

Seriously, I love Point Horror. After I FINALLY post Trapped, I think I need to do some Point Horror reviews (the old books, of course) in honor of Point Horror's resurrection.

HOLY SHIT IT'S POINT HORROR!!!

P.S. I just bought a copy of R.L. Stine's newest novel Red Rain. I cannot wait to read and review this one. Should be...interesting.