Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Bad Moonlight


*That cover is searing my retinas. SO. PAINFUL.*

Book Description:

Danielle Verona can't believe the band picked her to be their new lead singer. She's on the road, performing at all the hot clubs. The adoring fans, the bright lights-it's a dream come true! But when nighttime falls, Danielle can feel the terror in the darkness. There's eerie howling outside her window. And then a band member is killed, ripped to shreds by a wild animal. Danielle knows something is out there, lurking in the moonlight. Something savage...and hungry.

The Band:

Danielle Verona - one lead singer & guitar/main character. She really warrants no introduction here because we learn plenty about her later...probably more than we want to.

Billy Dark - the band's 21 yr. old manager.

Kit Kragen - 19 yr. old roadie; resident hottie.

Dee Waters - the second lead singer. Harbors an unyielding grudge for Danielle because before Danielle came along, Dee was the ONLY lead singer and she doesn't wanna share the spotlight.

Joey - the "sound guy" and all-around irritating human being.

Mary Beth - the drummer; described as "intense and precise".

Caroline - the blonde keyboard player who never stops smiiiiling. I picture Natasha Bedingfield as Caroline.

*I don't know why Stine only gave four of them a last name. I don't think Joey, Caroline, and Mary Beth are famous enough to be one-namers (i.e. Cher, Madonna, Prince)*

My Description:

This particular tale begins with a prologue, as most Super Chillers do. The aforementioned Danielle is at the supermarket with her 10 yr. old brother, Cliff, and her Aunt Margaret. Cliff and Danielle's parents died in a car accident a few years ago and Aunt Margaret moved across the country to take care of them. How selfless/masochistic of her. In case you're dying for physical descriptions, Stine doesn't disappoint. Cliff is a short and chubby with "straw colored hair", quite the opposite of 18 yr. old Danielle who is tall and thin with dark hair and eyes. Auntie Margaret, ever the hottie, is described as small and sturdy (WTF) with a pointy chin, "bleached red hair" (I don't follow), and steely blue eyes. Phew.

As the three make their way through the fruits and vegatables section ("Yuck! Carrots!") Aunt Margaret asks Danielle if she's thought of a name for "the band" yet. Nope. Apparently Danielle is home after two weeks on the road with the band...and they STILL haven't come up with a name? The life of a musician isn't all Danielle thought it would be. "Two weeks on the road. Bumping along in the van. Playing tiny music clubs." At least they get gigs. Some poor bastards never make it out of their parents' garage. Aunt Margaret changes the subject then, asking Danielle what she wants for dinner. "The special chicken you make. You know. With the pineapples. Sort of oriental? And mashed potatoes." As they're discussing Aunt Margaret's culinary skillz, they don't notice that Cliff has wandered off. Danielle goes to find him. What follows is simply strange...

Cliff comes up to Danielle and asks her what she's doing. She's confused, glancing down at the package of raw beef she's holding. The package is open and Danielle is holding a chunk of raw, oozing meat. "Her mouth was full. She swallowed the raw meat she had been chewing. It felt cold and slimy as it slid down her throat." Yummy. Cliff repeats his original question and Danielle is suddenly horrified, saying "I don't know!" as blood drips down her chin. I hope she plans on paying for that meat...

Segue into the next chapter. Joey is driving the van like a frigging maniac, hitting every pothole he sees and laughing gleefully when everyone gets pissed at him. When Danielle tells him he really needs to slow down, he says "I'll slow down if you come up here and sit on my lap!" Ew. Danielle says no so Joey speeds up. *sigh* I think the reason Joey is driving crazily is because he's wearing sunglasses. At night. How can that idiot possibly see anything? And what's the reasoning behind that? They're called sunglasses, not moonlenses. Danielle moves to sit next to Caroline and Mary Beth and Joey starts flirting with all three. I've got more game than this loser and that's seriously pathetic. Thankfully, the intrepid Caroline shuts Joey up with "I only flirt with members of my own species." Hee. As they bump along in the van, Danielle reminisces about the day she auditioned for the band. *cue hazy dream sequence* The audition took place in Caroline's garage (typical). It was a magical garage, full of dusty junk and wannabe rockstars. Danielle was nervous, dying to please the small audience of four with her original songs. And she impresses them because they allow her to join. All is dandy...except for Dee's attitude. She catches up to Danielle and tells her "You don't belong in this band." Buzzkill! *end hazy dream sequence* Dee suddenly says she doesn't know why she stays with a band that doesn't even have a name. Then leave! No-one needs/wants your shitty attitude bogging them down. Joey tells her that she sticks around because she's hot for his bod. I doubt she's that desperate. I picture his bod as being ghostly pale and thin with an ass as flat as pancake.

As Dee and Joey verbally spar, Danielle screams at Joey to watch the road because he's getting a little too close to a steep cliff. Suddenly the van plunges over the edge. Danielle starts screaming, sure they're all going to die. But wait! It was just a vision, it didn't actually happen. Phew. Thank goodness it's just Danielle's mind that is dying and not Joey. NOT. Caroline tries to calm Danielle, but she can't help but freak out. Everybody in the van is staring at her, wondering why the hell she was screaming. Everyone except Joey of course who keeps on driving. The rest of the drive consists of Danielle telling Caroline and Mary Beth about her parents' accident, how they slammed through a guardrail and the police found their bodies slashed from the rocks below. Heavy stuff, man. They finally arrive at the Midland Hotel. They're staying here because it's located conveniently across the street from the Rocket Club where they'll be playing later.

As Danielle is about to get out of the van, she notices Caroline staring at her. "Danny, it's your hair. It's standing straight up!" Really, Stine? Really? This is your idea of scares? A bad hair day? Come on! Danielle touches her normally smooth and silky hair and realizes that it is indeed standing straight up as if charged with static. It's also feeling fairly rough and bristly. They don't dwell on this and head to the hotel. The place isn't luxurious, but it's comfortable and warm. Kit and Joey have already gone to the club. Billy comes to tell the girls that they should check in and then join the guys. After they put their things away, they make their way to the club. Dee grabs Danielle and tells her "You'll be sorry." Is this chick ever gonna let up? Danielle tells her to give her a break and runs ahead to catch up with Caroline and Mary Beth.

Once inside the Rocket Club, someone comments that it's the biggest club they've ever played. Regardless, it sounds like every other club I've encountered in these books (perhaps every club on the planet): very dark with crazy strobe lights and sweaty, gyrating bodies. The only thing that distinguishes it is it's old-fashioned jukebox. Yeah, I don't get it either. Anyway, Joey hits on Danielle some more and although she's uncomfortable, she doesn't verbally (or literally) castrate him like I kept hoping she would. Instead, she pretends to be sleepy and says she's going back to the hotel. What a spineless liar. Billy comes over and displays his alpha male status by telling Danielle that he'll take care of it if Joey ever bothers her again. Danielle leaves and Kit (a.k.a. Adonis) catches up to her. She's astounded by Kit's good looks. Ooo la la. They kiss, but the moment is ruined by Kit who suddenly screams bloody murder. Why? Danielle is biting his lip like a dog gnaws a bone. Kissing 101: NO TEETH! I could understand a little nibble, but this girl drew blood. She apologizes and runs to the hotel. Poor Kit...all alone...bleeding like a stuck pig. The least Danielle could have done is soaked up the spurting blood.

When Danielle gets to the room she shares with Caroline, she starts crying. She tells Caroline she has to go see Dr. Moore (her psychiatrist) the next day because something is seriously wrong with her. No shit. Wonder if Hannibal Lecter used to be her psychiatrist ...she DID try to chew someone's face off, after all. Danielle takes a shower and when she returns, Caroline is gone. Danielle decides to use her alone time to strum her guitar. Out of nowhere, a song comes to her. Unfortunately, it sucks. "Bad moonlight, falling over me. Bad moonlight, shining down on me. Bad moonlight, makes me feel so strange and new. Bad moonlight, I want to die for you." Once, when I was like 10, I wrote a song while in the john and it was about a million times better than this. Seriously. Anyway, Caroline happened to hear Danielle singing and thinks her song is the greatest. She actually says it's "the best thing ever written." Are you fucking kidding me? If that's the best thing ever written, I'd hate to hear the worst. Caroline runs to get the others so they can listen to Danielle's "masterpiece". She wakes them up so they can come listen to this trash. Of course they all love it: "It's a killer!" Everyone except Dee that is. But no-one cares what she thinks because she's a bitter hag who hates everything. Based on this AWESOME tune (someone kill me) they all decide to call the band 'Bad Moonlight'. Everyone leaves the room a few minutes later, Caroline included ("I'll talk to Billy about getting you a ride to Shadyside tomorrow.") Danielle lies in bed thinking about Kit. She's about to doze off when suddenly she hears "an animal wail". She walks to the window, looks up at the moon, and feels an almost irresistable urge to join the howling. She quickly closes the shades and gets back in bed, trying to ignore the howling. She hears another sound: someone tapping on the door. She doesn't answer so the person tells her shes gotta talk to her now. It's Dee. Dee knocks for a few seconds longer but gives up when she realizes Danielle ain't gonna answer.

The next day, Danielle drives to Shadyside in the club owner's car to visit Dr. Moore. The doctor welcomes her inside; lucky for her, another patient cancelled. Danielle tells him all anout the strange things that have been happening to her. When she brings up the Kit incident, the good doctor wants to know if they're attracted to one another. Why? "Two young people, kissing in the moonlight. Teeth sometimes get in the way, you know." Wipe that shit eating grin off your face, doc! This is serious business! A man almost bled to death at the mercy of someone's teeth! And he was beautiful! Beautiful people aren't supposed to... I thought this was going somewhere, but it really isn't. Pardon me. Anyway, Danielle confesses that she's been having very violent fantasies so the doctor decides to hypnotize her to bring them to the surface. There are handcuffs and whips and lots of leather...oh my bad. That's MY violent fantasy. *cough* Danielle's violent fantasy involves the full moon, lots of running, and bloody battles in the street. Dr. Moore snaps Danielle out of it. He blames these fantasies on her anger at the world because of her parents' deaths. Before Danielle leaves, she glances down at the chair she's sitting in and realizes that she's clawed the arms to ribbons. Good work. *applause*

That night, the band takes the stage at the Rocket Club for the first time. The crowd is riled up and wanting more from Bad Moonlight. And they give the people what they want, unfortunately for me. Is it possible for that many people to wanna hear that stupid song again and again? Apparently so. Afterwards, the band is on a high...especially Joey who grabs Danielle and kisses her on the mouth. She shoves him off and he says "Come on, Danny. You know you're hot for my bod!" So. Lame. It. Hurts. Billy cuts the tension by telling everyone to head on down to the coffee shop for some cheeseburgers. Does he mean a diner? Because coffee shops normally don't serve burgers...that's why theyre called COFFEE shops. Danielle tells Caroline that she'll catch up to them. "I think I'll take a quick walk. Order me a cheeseburger, rare." Rare...of course. Stine really wants to pound us over the head with this wolf stuff. Danielle finds herself alone with nothing but the full moon and the deserted sidewalk for company. She mutters "Go" then takes off running as hard as she can. She comes upon a wall and leaps over it "like a horse". Man. I wish I could do that. When she lands on the other side, she sees that her hands have changed. Her nails are now giant claws. She's positively wolfen! She hears someone (something?) behind her. It's Larry Talbot!



Oh wait. Never mind. It's just Joey. *sigh* He has horrible timing...

...and we get proof of that the next morning. No-one can find him. Mauled by a crazy wolf lady? Perhaps. Everyone is sitting around the hotel "coffee shop" eating omelettes and drinking lots of coffee because they partied a little too hardy last night. They're wondering why Danielle never showed up last night. Why don't you ask your friend Joey where Danielle was, kids? Oh right. You can't. When Billy asks Danielle if she saw Joey, Danielle says no. Liar! Billy and Kit decide to check the club for any trace of the missing Joey. The girls are just finishing breakfast when the guys return WITHOUT Joey. They can't hang around waiting all day so they decide to pack up and leave. "Maybe we'll find Joey walking along the road somewhere." Doubtful. And how shitty is that anyway? He could show up and they'd be gone. What the hell would he do then? I mean, we know he isn't coming, but still. As they pull away in the van, they notice an ambulance hauling ass towards the park. They follow it and lo and behold: Joey's mutilated body is lying there, his clothing and skin completely SHREDDED. Ouch.

Three weeks later, Danielle is sitting in Dr. Moore's office again. She tells him that she has a feeling she had something to do with Joey's death because of all the crazy things that have been happening to her lately. She says that after she left the others to "go for a walk" she can't remember anything, her mind is a total blank. That's the mercy of being a werewolf--you don't recall all the terrible shit you do. Dr. Moore assures her that she did nothing wrong. Psh. Shows how little he knows.

Later, the band is barreling down the road in that rickity ass van of their's. Everyone is pumped about doing the next show. Everyone except Dee, as usual. She's pissed because no-one is thinking about poor Joey. "Joey was killed. Slashed to pieces, in case you've forgotten. Doesn't anybody care?" Billy tells her that they care and Caroline says that they have to get on with their lives. In an effort to change the subject, Danielle tells the crew that she recently wrote another song. Does it suck? HARD. It's practically the same damn song she wrote earlier, just tweaked a little: "Stop me, whoa. Bad moonlight, stop me. Keep me, stop me. Hold me like a friend." Yeah, I'll hold you...if you hold my hair while I vomit from overexposure to this tripe! Of course these assholes rave about it like it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Danielle sings "Stop me, don't let me kill again." and Dee goes crazy, screaming "You killed Joey!" She lunges for Danielle, but Kit and Billy manage to pull her away before she does any major damage. They all calm down and get going again. By the time they pull up to their hotel, a thunderstorm is in full swing. They get out of the van and Danielle stands in the rain for a moment before running full speed down the sidewalk. No-one chases her. She runs until she gets thirsty and stops to lap up some water from a puddle. Just a day in the life of a wolf girl.

The next morning, the band rehearses at the Roadhouse, a smal club. Oh man, the manager of this place is such a cheeseball. He tells the band that the place will probably be packed tonight. Then he looks at Danielle and says "We've got you to thank for it, honey. Dave from the Rocket said you were dy-no-mite." *CRINGE* Moving on before I slash my wrists...

Later, the girls are deciding what to wear when Billy comes to their room to ask them if they've seen Kit. Uh-oh. They all go to search for him. When they get outside, Danielle takes off, running away from the others because she's certain something horrible has happened. When she reaches an empty lot, she sees Kit lying on the ground. Dee is standing over him, grinning like a fool. Then she lunges for Kit, tearing into his flesh. Danielle screams and Caroline comes running up which prompts the following exchange:

Caroline: "Danielle, what's wrong?"
Danielle: "Kit! Dee, stop! Caroline, she's going to kill him!"
Caroline: "What are you talking about? Kit and Dee aren't in there, Danielle. It's just two kids! Look!"

Awww. I hate when shit isn't as it seems. Caroline leads Danielle away from the lot and promises she won't tell anyone about this little incident. When they arrive back at the hotel, they spot Dee, Kit, and Billy in the lobby. Kit explains that he got caught up with some friends and lost track of time. Dee's excuse (as if anyone really cares where she was) is "I took a walk." Sure. I bet those two were off making out in an alley somewhere. "Two young people kissing in the moonlight..." Ugh, get out of here, Dr. Moore!

After the show, they all decide to walk down to the river. Is this really what aspiring rock stars do after a show? What about the sex, drugs, and excessive boozing? The times, they are a-changin'! Danielle wants to go, but decides not to because the moonlight is "cold and evil" and makes her loopy. She almost changes her mind when she looks into Kit's baby blues. But she knows she has to get back to the hotel. When she reaches her room, she considers writing another song (please don't). Out of nowhere, she hears rustling noises. The closet door opens and out pops Dee who tells Danielle "Don't even try to get away this time." How the hell did this nut get back to the hotel before Danielle? Oh well. Dee says she knows the truth about Joey, but before she can finish, Kit comes in. Dee leaves abruptly and Kit and Danielle proceed to bust a sexy move, making out until Danielle hears horrible howling. "Please make it stop!" Kit is totally confused; he doesn't hear a thing. Danielle tells him he should leave because she's really tired. She goes to bed, waking at a little after two. She notices that Caroline's bed is still empty. She's "restless and wide awake" so she decides to get a sode from the machine down the hall and work on a song (NO!! The humanity!!) In the hall, she spots Billy lying on the floor seemingly lifeless. But then she sees his chest moving up and down. He lives! Danielle smells alcohol on his breath and sees that he's holding a beer can. Oh. Well, let the man sleep off his bender in peace. Danielle wakes him up and drags him to his feet. He says that he's got a lot on his mind, but refuses to explain further. Instead, he drunkenly stumbles to his room to pass out all over again.

The next day, Danielle is back home with Aunt Margaret and Cliff. After they eat lunch, Cliff runs outside to play in the cardboard fort he built the day before and Aunt Margaret and Danielle discuss Danielle's troubles. She tells Margaret that she's considering quitting the band. Auntie Margaret tells her she shouldn't quit, but she should take it easy. When Danielle tells her she wants to know exactly what happened to her parents so maybe she can make sense of her violent fantasies, Aunt Margaret swiftly avoids the subject: "Oh look at the time! I've got laundry to fold and errands to run!" Geez, woman, could you be any more transparent? Auntie goes into the next room and Danielle picks up the phone to call Caroline. Margaret is already on the line with Dr. Moore and Danielle hears her say "It's Danielle! I'm very worried about her" Dr. Moore tells her to come right over so they can get it on...uh...I mean, talk about Danielle. Margaret says she'll be there in 15 minutes. Danielle hangs up, wondering how long her aunt has been discussing her with Dr. Moore. Aunt Margaret comes in then and tells Danielle that the laundry can wait because she's going shopping. She's lying! Throw rocks at her head! Daniells opts instead to go through Aunt Margaret's belongings. Eh, good enough. She wants to know if Auntie has been lying about anything else. Turns out she did indeed lie about something else: the cause of Danielle's parents' deaths. Danielle comes across a newspaper article stuffed in Margaret's desk. The headline reads "Cause Unknown In Mysterious Death Of Shadyside Couple" But Aunt Margaret said it was a horrible car accident! Nope. Their bodies were found at the bottom of a ravine and according to one eloquent police officer "It looked like the work of a wild animal." Shocker!

The next day, Danielle is back at Dr. Moore's office discussing the fact that Aunt Margaret lied about ma and pa's deaths. Dr. Moore explains that Margaret wanted to protect Danielle and Cliff from the awful truth. I think being killed in a horrible car accident is just as bad as being torn apart by some animal; Auntie missed the mark on this one. Danielle asks why he and Margaret have been talking about her behind her back; she overheard their phone call, after all. Dr. Moore tells her that they haven't been doing any such thing, that their lovemaking takes up too much time and they can't spare a minute to even THINK about Danielle! Ok ok, so he doesn't say that. He actually says that yesterday was the first and only time Margaret contacted him and she only did so because she was worried blahblahblah. Dr. Moore decides to hypnotize Danielle again. This time, she envisions a brutal fight with Dee. She snaps out of her trance before she can see the end result (personally, I think Dee would kick her ass). Danielle exits the office and searches for Caroline who was supposed to sit in the waiting room. She isn't there so Danielle assumes she decided to wait in the car. No dice. Danielle walks around the parking lot calling Caroline's name and who should walk up at that moment but Dee. WTF? Why is she here? She tells Danielle "I want you out of the band. Are you listening to me? I want you out!" She's a like a broken record! Danielle asks where Caroline is and Dee says she had to leave. So Danielle tells Dee that she isn't leaving the band no matter what. This only serves to piss Dee off. The girls start to fight and Dee ends up on the ground cutting her cheek against the gravel. Danielle catches the scent of blood and starts howling. She's suddenly filled with the urge to kill Dee. As soon as shit starts to get really interesting, Caroline shows up and breaks it up. Dee runs off and Danielle asks Caroline where she was. Down by the river, of course! Caroline's favorite things = wolves and old man river.

The next afternoon, Danielle is in the backyard having a Super Soaker battle royale with Cliff. He's hiding behind his fort and when Danielle finds him, he calls time out because he hurt himself. He fell and scraped his arm. Danielle catches sight of the blood and promptly licks it right off his arm. Yeah, that isn't gonna freak him out.

That night, Danielle writes another song. Why don't you just fucking shoot me? This one is the worst, in my opinion: "I'm at the window, howling at the moon, crying out my love, trying to get through, through to you." Blah. Of course everyone will worship her for it. *barf* She happens to gaze out the window down at Cliff's fort. Billy is standing there like an idiot. She calls down to him and then runs downstairs to talk to him. First, he makes small talk about the next show they'll be doing (it's in Shadyside) and then he tells her that he has bad news. "Dee quit the band." Hell, that isn't bad news! That's the best thing that has happened in this book so far! Billy leaves a few seconds later (is he living in the fort?) Danielle feels weirded out because she has a feeling that he's hiding something. She wants to talk to someone about it so she decides to call Kit who doesn't live very far away. Lucky for her, he's awake. They chat about Billy and Kit offers to come over. Danielle is all for it, telling him she'll wait for him on the sidewalk. She gets dressed and Kit pulls up in his white Mustang a few minutes later. They walk along for a bit until Danielle gets an inexplicable urge to RUN. So she does. Kit goes after her, but he can't catch up. The chapter ends with Danielle stalking a rabbit in the woods. Run, Thumper!

The next day, the band is rehearsing. They're going to be playing at Red Heat, Shadyside's most popular dance club. They've already got someone to replace Dee--Shawna Davidson, a "friend" of Kit's. They run through all their songs and afterwards, Billy tells them to be back at 8 pm which gives them a couple of hours to do whatever they want. At 8 sharp, everyone congregates back at the club. Shawna has left her bass upstairs and Danielle offers to fetch it for her. When she opens a storage closet, Dee's mutilated corpse tumbles out. Danielles backs up, horrified, and wonders if she killed Dee unknowingly. Billy comes up then and tells her he can't let her go. She manages to get past him, but he chases her. Danielle runs outside and into the woods. Caroline pops out of nowhere and tells Danielle that everything will be ok. Danielle smells something strange emanating from Caroline...like wet dog. And then "Caroline's blue eyes gleamed out at Danielle from a face covered in gray fur. The same bristly gray fur has sprouted from Caroline's arms and legs." Holy shit, she's turning into my grandpa! Caroline starts growling and bares her fangs at Danielle. Danielle runs toward a pair of headlights. It's the Mystery Machine! Billy and Mary Beth jump out and run toward Danielle. Danielle watches in horror as they transform into werewolves also. She just can't catch a break. As soon as a heavy cloud shrouds the moon, the three return to human form. Danielle knows that she has only a brief time to get away before they become wolves again. Suddenly, she hears Kit's voice. She runs to him and he tells her they have to get to his car. Danielle wants to take the van instead because it's closer, but Kit doesn't have the key. Billy pipes up and tells Danielle that Kit is also a werewolf. The moonlight come back then and Billy and Kit start fighting. Danielle manages to get to the van and thankfully the key is in the ignition. She dives in and Caroline and Mary Beth start throwing themselves against the side of the van. Danielle drives off, leaving the howling wolves in the dust. She worries about Kit, but she doesn't look back. She figures she'll bring back help. Right. She drives to her house and races upstairs to get Aunt Margaret. She finds her and tells her the whole sordid story. Aunt Margaret simply smiles and says "You can't call the police. You have to go back to the others, dear. We've all worked too hard. You can't spoil our plans for you now."

Say WHAT?! Then Aunt Margaret tells her that she's not really her aunt. "You hadn't seen your real aunt since you were a child. Your real aunt is dead. Just like your parents. All three of them died the same way. It was all part of the plan. They had to get your relatives out of the way so I could care for you. So I could get you ready. Ready for your husband!" Wow. Convoluted much? Danielle runs to the door and finds Billy on the other side who asks where she's going. To the river probably. She runs to the van and tears down Fear Street. She decides to go to Dr. Moore for help. She tells him everything and he tells her to calm down. She hears a voice coming from another room: "Dad, where is she? Is she there with you?" To which Dr. Moore replies "Yes, Kit. Your bride is waiting for you in here." This is too much to process! Werewolf brides? A fake Aunt Margaret? Dr. Moore is a father?!

Kit tells Danielle that Billy and the others are all under his control. And Dr. Moore tells her that the hypnosis sessions weren't treatments at all. He was planting ideas in her head to make her fall under the moonlight's spell. Whatever THAT means. Oh, and he was the cruel soul behind those damn songs she wrote; he "planted" them, too! Someone revoke this guy's license to practice. Kit confesses that he killed her parents and her aunt...and Joey and Dee. Joey because he kept flirting with Danielle and Dee because she knew way too much. All along we thought Dee was just a hateful, bitter hag, but she was trying to warn Danielle. Oh Dee...I rue the day I ever cursed your name! Kit tells Danielle that it's time for them to marry. Dr. Moore will perform the ceremony outside under the moonlight. Danielle responds by throwing a stapler at Kit's head and running for the door. Hoorah! But damn, Kit catches her and tells her she's marrying him whether she likes it or not.

Outside, a little wedding party has gathered. It's just the band members and "Aunt" Margaret. Kit forces Danielle to sing "Bad Moonlight". When she finishes, Dr. Moore begins the ceremony. Danielle transforms into a snarling beast and immediately rips Kit's throat out. He dies instantly and since he was the werewolf master, his minions change in some way. For Margaret and Dr. Moore, it means death: their bodies slowly fall apart. Their heads fall off their shoulders and explode. Their arms and legs fly off. Sick, man, sick. For Caroline, Mary Beth, and Billy, the curse is broken. They're normal people now. Danielle tells them she's looking forward to some bright sunlight. The End.

*Exploding heads! DUUUUUUUDE!*

17 comments:

  1. Wh--huh? But...

    the ending makes no sense D=

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  2. It makes no sense whatsoever...but I kind of love it anyway.

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  3. Nighttime is the right time for terror? Whoa, I need a minute for that one. I usually think of nightime as the right time to sleep, or drink cocktails...

    Hey, hasn’t R.L seen Teen Wolf? Werewolves are not scary; they just want to join the basketball team.

    Today I saw The Babysitter 2 on the floor of the library’s fill a grocery bag of books for $.25 sell-off sale. I thought about the irony of it being unclaimed and on the floor. But I actually think I remember reading that book. I know it is not Fear Street, but it’s something.

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  4. What the HELL. Is anyone else totally confused by the fact that some books have completely rational explanations for all things supernatural, or just nothing supernatural at all, and others are - well, this?

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  5. Uh, Mr. Stine, the estate of Michael Landon would like to speak with you about ripping off I Was A Teenage Werewolf.
    I ordered the 99 Fear Street collection and another Fear Street collection at paperback swap. This is your fault. That, and they didn't have the latest Cleo Coyle or Alice Kimberly.

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  6. Great recap, but this book sounds like it didn't make any sense! The whole raw meat thing was pretty disgusting though, so if I read this when I was a kid I was probably super terrified by it!

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  7. Yikes, that ending was positively wolfen... whatever-t-f that means.

    & I loved you killin' her lyricism.



    Check my Christopher Pike blog - likepike.blogspot.com

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  8. Where do washed up rock star werewolves live? Chris Farley: In a VAN...DOWN BY THE RIVER!
    LOL. Another good one!

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  9. "Holy shit, she's turning into my grandpa!"

    Haha, that line was my favorite! I only vaguely remembered this book, I could recall the cover and knew I'd read it but for some reason had the plot blocked from my brain.

    Upon reading your recap, I realize why. Haha man that was ridiculous, even for Stine.

    Ooo a Christopher Pike blog?? Don't mind if I do!

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  10. its a shame kit died he was hot, i would have had no problem being forced into a marriage with him LOL XD. Great side jokes u slipped in too, very amusing, especially wen u bagged her song writing abilities hehehehe shes awful.

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  11. Well can you blame Danielle for her God-awful lyrics? After all Dr. Moore did implant those werewolf fetish ideas and lyrics in her mind so therefore, he's rubbish!

    Awesome review btw!

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  12. When I was ten, reading this book for the first time, this ending made perfect sense to me O.o

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  13. Werewolf Brides sounds like some kind of online dating agency. Hungry Werewolf women are looking for an easy way into the country, sign up and make their dream come true.





    Obligatory Blogpimp: mockerymachine.blogspot.com

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  14. I actually really liked this book. In fact it's one of my favorites of RL Stine's. Her lyrics were really cool to me and the twist made sense and worked out for me. It was pretty shocking in my opinion! This ending almost seems to adult for the young readers who would have read this book. I really liked Bad Moonlight, it was a little more gruesome and darker than Stine's usual stuff. But the review was still funny. You have issues with Bad Moonlight? Try Christopher Pike's Chain Letter. It's ridiculous from what I've heard. LOL

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  15. What the hell's wrong with the cover art? It conveys what the book is about and it works at least to me. But searing your retinas? At least Danielle wasn't super hairy and Dee was staring at her with her face in a screaming maniac shape. LMAO

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  16. Im glad dee dies though she was kind of bitchy. Also joey dying was no loss. He was a perv and would have probably went on to rape women.

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  17. This should have been a movie Bad Moonlight Rated R

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