Sunday, February 7, 2010

Seniors #6 - The Gift


Book Description:

Jennifer is not herself. Ever since she got the antique necklace, she has been living in a nightmare. She believes the necklace is forcing her to commit terrible crimes. But will it make her kill?

My Description:

It's the day after Christmas and Jennifer Fear (the star of this EXTRAVAGANZA) is visiting Trisha Conrad. Jennifer can't wait to show Trisha her favorite present. But first Trisha wants to shove all the crap her super rich parents bought her into Jen's face. As if we need one more reminder that the Conrads are loaded. We freaking get it! Finally, Jennifer gets to show off her necklace. "The chain was made of intricate gold links. A dark red stone hung from the chain, and nestled at the base of Jennifer's throat. The stone was set in heavy gold, almost half an inch across." I like shiny things. Trisha is impressed and Jennifer says her dad found it at a junk shop in the Old Village. On the back, the words 'Dominique Fear Wuz Here' is engraved. Ok, ok, it's just 'Dominique Fear'. Damn Fears. A couple seconds later, Trisha's boy toy, Gary Fresno, calls and Trisha suddenly forgets Jennifer is in the room. Nice. As Jennifer is waiting for her shitty friend to get off the phone, she thinks about the Fear family and...well, I'm just not going there because we've heard it all before. Finally Trisha hangs up and asks Jennifer about her upcoming New Year's Eve party (Happy 1999, outdated Fear Street book! Damn. Can you believe that was 11 years ago?) Jennifer is excited about it especially since her lover boy Ty Sullivan will be there. Ooo. They recently started dating, but once he realizes how cursed the Fears are (he moved to Shadyside over the summer so he's not familiar with the Fears and how they ruin everything they touch) he'll quit that chick. Trisha changes the subject and asks to try on Jennifer's necklace. Jen wants to try on Trisha's new leather jacket so they switch. Predictably, when Trisha puts on the necklace, she has one of her stupid visions. "I saw her die! They put a noose around her neck and hanged her!" Trisha doesn't know who this person is. All she knows is the person died a long time ago. Helpful. And by 'helpful' I mean 'painfully obvious plot contrivance'.

Later that night, Ty drives Jennifer to the cemetery so they can be totally alone while he attempts to get his freak on. Why is it always the cemetery? Those people may be dead, but that doesn't mean you can do this to them! They don't want your dirty monkey sex taking place on their graves! *sigh* Damn Fears. Anyway, they make out until Ty gets nicked by Jennifer's necklace and starts to bleed all over the place. He sops it up and throws the tissue out the window before driving off. He stops in front of Jennifer's house and basically ignores her before dumping her. Ass. She's upset, but all he has to say is she's too serious and he wants to have fun. Meaning: he wants to do it and she's not having that mess. Good for you, Jennifer. She runs up to her room before he sees her cry. Ty Sullivan is an insensitive ass! Spread the word!

Now we get our first taste of freakiness caused by the necklace. I think. It's all pretty vague and we don't actually get Jennifer's name, but I'm assuming it's her and not a stupid flashback to Dominique Fear. Anyway, it's very cold and the girl is wandering around outside in her nightgown. Unfortunately, she thinks about her WOOL CAPE and how she wishes she had worn it which makes me think that this is Dominique we're talking about here (because of the old fashioned factor) and I hate it because...well, I don't know why. I just do! Isn't one Fear enough? We already have Jennifer; we don't need dear old dead Dom. Oh well. The girl keeps walking across the icy ground until she reaches some dude's house. "A single light burned in an upstairs window. Is it his light? It must be. She took a few steps closer. She cupped her hands around her eyes and gazed up. Her screams tore through the night like the shriek of the wind." What the hell? Soon, JENNIFER wakes up to find herself lying outside in the cold. She freaks out when she realizes she's in Ty's backyard and runs home. Is Jennifer dreaming through the eyes of Dominique? So many questions, so little interest.

The next day, Jennifer goes to the library to fill out her online college application, but she can't concentrate because she keeps thinking about that strange episode the night before. She explains everything to Trisha who couldn't keep her perfect rich nose out of people's business if she tried. SUCK! A cheerleader named Phoebe Yamura (who is the doomed star of the next Seniors book) interrupts the girls' conversation with this juicy bit: "Did you guys hear about Ty Sullivan? He was attacked last night. In his own backyard!" You've been a very naughty girl, Jennifer. And we all appreciate it. After all, Ty is a dirty piece of shit. Phoebe says Ty is ok except for a big ragged gash on his head. (Stifle your giggles.) Phoebe runs off to tell someone else and Jennifer tells Trisha that she and Ty broke up and she woke up in his backyard. Jen goes on and on about what happened in the cemetery and suddenly Trisha has a vision, but won't tell Jennifer what she saw. I think this vision stuff is bullshit--Trisha just zonks out when she doesn't wanna listen anymore. She tells Jennifer "Listen, I just remembered--I have to go to my grandmother's. She wants to see me before she goes to France." La di freaking da. Jennifer demands to know what Trisha saw, but it's not too interesting. "I had a flash of the attack on Ty. It was kind of blurry and I don't know exactly what happened, but...it was like I was in the attacker's head. Like I was looking out through her eyes." These visions are absolutely fucking useless. They're vague and even when she actually sees something useful, it's too late to make a difference!

Later, Jennifer meets Trisha at Shadyside's teenage mecca, Pete's Pizza. Jen flips out when Ty enters with his bandaged head. Her heart is smashed to a pulp when she see him walk up to Greta Bradley, a skanky cheerleader, and they start kissing. Ty moves fast. Trisha is furious, but Jennifer pretends like it doesn't bother her so Trisha will calm down. What a psycho.

That night, Jennifer drives Stacey Malcolm home from basketball practice. They talk about Ty and Trisha's apeshit personality until Stacey gets out. As Jennifer turns on Fear Street, she can't see a thing because it's so foggy. Suddenly some shadowy nut steps into the road, but Jennifer can't stop the car because her brakes are now shot for no apparent reason! THE HUMANITY! The guy jumps out of the way before Jennifer can mow him down and eventually she gets the car to stop. She gets out to make sure her victim is ok. Of course it turns out to be Ty. *sigh* He's pissed because he thinks she tried to run him over on purpose. "Just stay away from me! Do you hear? Stay away from me!" Drama queen.

More dreams...or whatever they happen to be. This time the chick is wandering outside at night again, but she's dressed for the cold this time. She takes a box and some matches out of her pocket... Jennifer wakes up in her own bed, but she can remember this dream. She knows she was in Ty's yard again, but not sure what she was doing. She glances at the clock and realizes she's late to pick up Trisha so they can go shopping for party junk. She gets dressed and throws on her coat, but she can only find one of her happy yellow snowflake gloves. The doorbell rings and Trisha is standing there, completely insane as usual. "Jen, listen to me! I know who it was! It was you. The attacker was you!" Oh those crazy Fears. Always maiming and killing. I don't know why Trisha is so shocked...besides the fact that she's Trisha. She goes on to tell the stunned Jennifer that someone set Ty's house on fire last night. Mwhahahaha! I love this book! No-one got hurt, but Jennifer needs to see for herself. She hurries over and sees the house is still standing, but it's pretty trashed. Bad little Jenny! Jennifer is completely freaking out and tells Trisha that her stupid vision must be wrong. Two seconds later, Trisha finds Jennifer's missing glove under a charred chunk of wood. Pwned.

The girls go to the Donut Hole (because they can't handle pizza at 10 am) and drink coffee while talking about Jennifer's unconscious desire to kill Ty Sullivan. Trisha says all this crap started when Jennifer got that necklace. Trisha also says that Dominique Fear's evil spirit is using the necklace to come back through Jennifer. Just another day in the life of a Fear. Jennifer gets really angry and runs off.

That afternoon, Jennifer heads for the gym for her last basketball practice of vacation. Unfortunately, Greta Bradley and a few other cheerleaders are hanging out near the gym doors. Jennifer can't bear to walk past them so she decides to hide until they leave. She overhears them talking about her. Apparently, Ty told Greta that Jennifer is jealous and intentionally tried to run him over. The lying lies of a liar!

That evening, Jennifer decides to scour her father's library for information on Dominique Fear. She finds an old book titled "The Fear Family - A Chronicle" and it has Dominique's birth year (1863) and a scandalous article about an affair she had with a married man which began when she was 15, ended when she was 17, and resulted in a son. SHOCK! In 1882, when Dominique was only 19, she was hanged for supposedly murdering her lover, Nigel Fetherston. Turns out Dominique had a vision of Nigel falling off a cliff and she went to warn him. His wife told her she was insane and threw her out. A few days later, Nigel did indeed fall to his death and his darling wife accused Dominique of pushing him. Her last words were "Someday, someone shall pay for my death!" And apparently that someone is Ty Sullivan. HA! It makes me laugh! I hate you, Ty! Anyway, Jennifer runs to her room and attempts to tear the necklace off, but it won't budge and starts burning her skin. Just as she starts panicking, her mom walks in and easily gets it off. After Mom leaves the room, Jennifer shoves the necklace in a sock, ties the end in a knot, and shoves it in a drawer. I had no idea old sweatsocks could be used as a barrier between evil forces and the outside world. *sigh* Oh Jennifer.

The next morning, Jennifer goes to the mall to shop for supplies for her party which is the next night. She meets Trisha at a store called Party Place and as they're shopping, Jennifer talks about all the things she found out about Dominique. A little while later, Jennifer leaces. As she's putting her bags in the trunk, someone grabs her arm. It's Ty and he is so pissed! "You attack me, then you try to run me over, then you set my house on fire. You're sick. But I should have known that. You're a Fear. [BURN!] You better stay away from me, freak. I'm warning you. Stay away from me and my family. Or I'll make you pay." Damn. Jennifer just sits there and cries after Ty leaves. Ty, you truly are a baboon's ass.

The next day, Trisha and Jennifer are decorating for Jen's party which I'm looking forward to--you KNOW something is going to go down. SQUEE! Jennifer starts crying and tells Trisha about the incident with Ty. Trisha says she'll wear the necklace for a while because Dominique can't use her because she's not a Fear. WHY? When Trisha puts it on, she gets all stiff and weird and blurts out "Someday, someone shall pay for my death!" Give me a break. *sigh* Ok, so Dominique has possessed Trisha and carries on and on about how hot Nigel was and how much she loved him and how much she came to hate him because he wouldn't lower himself to marry a Fear. She says that once she died, no-one wanted to contaminate the cemetery with a Fear so they tossed her in the woods. Then she yells that she'll have revenge and lunges for Jennifer. Luckily, Trisha passes out before she can attack Jen. Jennifer takes the necklace off Trisha and she regains consciousness. Trisha has no memory of it and tells Jennifer to put the damn necklace away.

It's now time for the PAAAARRRRTTYYYYYY! Matty Winger (resident dumbass/dork) is already being annoying, going around blowing noisemakers in everyone's face. Tons of people came, there are no adults around (typical. If there's anything Fear Street taught me it's that adults serve no purpose whatsoever so forget them just like they forgot you.) and it's only two hours until midnight. Jennifer is having fun...until she sees Ty and Greta come in. These assholes have some brass ones. Jennifer is stunned that they would have the audacity to come, but instead of kicking their butts to the curb, she decides to ignore them and enjoy herself. She dances with Kenny Klein for a while before taking a break and stepping outside for a bit. Her peaceful moment is interrupted by the sound of Trisha screaming. She rushes inside to find Kenny and Trisha staring down at something in the hall. "Jennifer glanced down and felt a wave of panic flood through her. Greta lay on the carpet in a pool of blood. Dead." Someone smashed her head in with a ceramic bowl. Ty comes up and immediately accuses Jennifer. She responds by running to the bathroom and puking up all her party treats. Trisha comes to check on her and a moment later, two officers knock on the bathroom door. Jennifer reluctantly comes out to answer their questions. How the hell did they get here so fast? Teleportation? Black magic? Oh well. They ask their questions and leave. Jennifer makes the mistake of turning to Ty and saying it must have been an accident--the bowl just fell off the shelf, that's all! Ty says "You think I believe that? It was no accident. You're jealous because I dumped you. You wanted to pay me back. You tried to run me down. Torched my house. And now-you murdered my girlfriend!" Do you honestly think you're so great that any girl would go through all that trouble? Because you're not, you smelly turd. Everyone leaves except Trisha. She tells Jennifer that she had a vision of the killer pulling down the shelf that held the bowl, insinuates that it was Jennifer, and THEN she leaves. You people suck.

The next morning, Jennifer feels and looks like roadkill; because she got next to no sleep. She goes downstairs where her parents worry over her. She ends up telling them everything that has been going on and then her dad drops a bomb on her head. "It's about our last name. It's not really...well, it's not really Fear." WHAT? Are you saying your poor demented daughter's life has been nothing but a sham?! Why, Daddy, WHHHHYYY?! The story is boring and stupid: Grandpa moved to Shadyside and took the name Fear because people were terrified of the Fears and terror equals respect and everyone wants to be respected! None of this shit makes any sense. It doesn't even say why Gramps felt a need to change his name in the first place. Anyway, Jennifer is so relieved she starts cackling like a crazy old hag. She runs upstairs, grabs the sock-full-o-evil, and tells her dad to take it the hell away. Instead, he tells her to put it in the library for some reason only he is aware of. She flips out, runs upstairs into the library, and flings the necklace across the room. "I'm not one of you! I hate you! Hate you!" She rips books off the shelves and tosses them everywhere. She stops trashing the place when an interesting thought hits her. "Why is Dominique possessing me if I'm not even a Fear?" Because she's a psycho!! Jennifer picks up the necklace and notices the stone is loose. She pries it out and finds a lock of hair behind a gold panel. Not really out of the ordinary. She starts picking up the books and a finds a SHOCKING! bit of info: Dominique Fear married someone named Henry Conrad which means TRISHA is Dominique's descendant. That explains a lot. Jennifer finds a spell in one of the books for sending a spirit back to the "other world". It involves nothing more than burning the lock of hair. How creative.

Jennifer drives to Trisha's house where Trisha's mom informs her that Trisha is with Ty. You have got to be kidding me. Jennifer drives up to the cemetery where Ty usually takes his women. She finds Ty lying on the ground unconscious with Trisha standing above him with a pair of scissors. She's possessed by Dominique who thinks Ty is Nigel and believed Greta was Nigel's bitch of a wife. Trisha chases Jennifer around the cemetery and manages to cut Jen on the wrist. This book is freaking insane. Jennifer takes out a jar that holds the ashes of the burned hair and throws the ashes into Trisha's face. Dominique's spirit is gone and Trisha remembers nothing. Can someone please kill Ty? Come on! Before he wakes up! Never mind...he's already up. They all go home.

It's the last day of vacation and everyone is spending it in the sunshine. NOT! They're all crammed into the grease pit that is Pete's Pizza. Trisha and Jennifer are talking when Ty comes up and says he's sorry for getting wasted and passing out in the cemetery (that was the story the girls told him and since he's a total lush, he believed it) and he apologizes to Jennifer for verbally beating her all those times and accusing her of killing Greta. You're still an asshat, Ty.

Now we're inside Trisha's evil mind. She already knew she was a Fear long before Jennifer figured it out. And she's been out with Ty and made out with him in the cemetery many times. Sometimes she feels an urge to kill and she knows that's just the Fear coming out in her. But Jennifer took care of that. "The evil is gone. Jennifer threw the ashes in my face. She got rid of it! Trisha's knuckles turned white. I hope."

Conclusion? This thing is so bad, it's good. I loved it's cheesy, melodramatic insanity. It's hilarious!

Next time: "How I Broke Up With Ernie" Oh man, I can't wait to get my claws into this one. It's Stine's attempt at comedy. *gag*

15 comments:

  1. Interesting book. Reminds of a cheesy horror movie. God Ty is such an asshole. And RL Stine made a COMEDY!?!? This will not end well

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  2. Haha YES I knew it was going to be Trisha all along. Such a pity Ty didn't get what he deserved, though. Also, would you really want to eat at a place called the Donut Hole?

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  3. moon baron, I'm kind of scared of how bad it's going to be...

    HelenB, no Donut Hole for me.

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  4. Wait, so Trisha never gets punished for killing Greta? I mean, I know it wasn't really her, but this is murder we're talking about!

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  5. I'd eat at the Donut Hole. Just not the Glory Hole.

    I can't believe Stine tried comedy.

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  6. I'm pretty sure Ty gets what he deserves before the series ends.

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  7. Lmao@ sadako! No one should eat at the Glory hole! I really didn't like this book. For sum reason i really dislike Trisha......maybe her 'little too late' visions? Or maybe cuz she volunteered 2 wear the necklace or was that Dominique's doing? So no one gets punished for Greta's death and no one's gonna punish Jen for torching Ty's place? Ugh watever.............

    Can't wait to see how awesomely bad Stine's 'comedy' is.......
    If I happen to laugh whilst reading it's either u wrote something funny or the fact Stine's not funny.......

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  8. This books sounds confusing! I never read the Seniors books, but now I kind of want to.

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  9. How many Seniors books are there, anyway?

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  10. Yowch. Only halfway through.

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  11. I think burning the remains of a ghost/spirit to free the spirit is accurate occult lore. And I know this because Sam and Dean do it on "Supernatural" so it must be true, right?

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  12. Devika, I'll go with that. Sam and Dean know what's up.

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  13. Oh gosh, my name is Dominique. D: Oh, and I'm a female. (Most Dominiques I hear of are guys)

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